


Green-Eyed

by m_gilastorm, miranda_gilastorm (m_gilastorm)



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Confessions, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, POV Cassian Andor, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 03:43:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14276178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_gilastorm/pseuds/m_gilastorm, https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_gilastorm/pseuds/miranda_gilastorm
Summary: Since the Rogue One crew recovered from their incursion to the Scariff base, Cassian has been painfully aware of his feelings for Jyn, struggling with whether he should tell her or just continue keeping his professional distance.When an old Partisan friend of Jyn's shows up, Cassian thinks he lost his chance to admit his feelings.





	Green-Eyed

**Author's Note:**

> Ask Prompt: "Cassian's trying to get the courage to admit his feelings to Jyn when some guy she used to know joins the rebellion."

The ice plains of Hoth came into view as Bodhi transmit his ident codes for permission to land. Everyone sat in a sullen silence. Chirrut looked ready to antagonize again, but Baze had a rather tight grip on his arm. Jyn was glowering and Kay was twisted awkwardly in the copilot seat, scanning them for signs of distress, unable to read the social cues. Rogue One docked and Cassian watched as his team waited for the ramp to lower so they could disembark. Everyone was remarkably unscathed for a messy recon mission - only Jyn really needed to report to the medbay and he'd been fighting that uphill battle since they made it back on the ship. As always, she took unnecessary risks and her body would bear the scars. He hated how casually she threw herself in the line of fire, whether she used their team as an excuse or not.

"Captain, it's just a small blaster burn. I'll be fine." She leaned gently against the cool metal of the wall. "Kay, tell him I'm fine."

K2 spoke from the cockpit next to Bodhi, who looked strangely like he wanted to be anywhere but in the middle of this debate - again. Entering atmo must have been a welcome reprieve for the pilot. "Mission protocol dictates you report for medical evaluation when injured off-planet, regardless of how insignificant the injury may appear to be."

Cassian kept his face still. She would see the smallest hint of reaction. He could feel her searching his face for it with her intense green eyes. He knew she could read him better than anyone in the galaxy. "You heard him, Sergeant. Report to medical for evaluation. If it makes you feel better, I'll make sure to put in your file to only use bacta if it's  _absolutely_ necessary." His lips twitched at the corners in what passed as a smile.

Whatever retort Jyn had ready was cut short by the release of the cargo ramp. Chirrut and Baze made their way off the U-Wing, walking directly between the two officers. The Guardians had been remarkably quiet since the betting on which of them would win their next sparring match was settled. Generally, they chose sides in these debates, depending on how severely Jyn was injured. Chirrut turned to Jyn, pausing to evaluate her, unseeing. "She seems in fine fighting condition to me."

Baze sighed and gave Cassian a meaningful look. "We'll be in the sparring room." He tugged on Chirrut's arm to lead him off the ship before he could add more fuel to the fire.

Too late. Jyn was glaring at Cassian with pursed lips and victory in her eyes. "See? Even Chirrut says I'm good."

"And yet none of you have a medical background to clear a field operative." He raised a brow at her.

K2-SO stomped his way to the ramp. "I have been programmed with information from several medical databases. If you would prefer, Captain, I can perform a scan of Sergeant Erso and determine the degree of her injuries."

Jyn scoffed. "Try it and I will disassemble you." She moved to stride down the ramp. "Come on, Bodhi."

Bodhi jumped slightly. He was hovering near the cockpit still, waiting for them to resolve their argument like they always did - with Jyn going to the medbay where she was usually told she was fine. "Where are we going?"

She threw a halfhearted glare at Cassian. "Medbay. Before I get court-martialed for a plasma burn." She stepped out of the shadow of the ship into the lights of the hangar of Echo Base and the blue of the ice walls seemed to cast glittering reflections on her. She looked like one of the ethereal space angels deep-space pilots used to tell stories of. He resisted the urge to clear his throat at the sight of her with the glimmering lights from the ice and her kyber crystal all reflecting in her green eyes.

Cassian was aware he was being ridiculous and over-protective, but after almost losing them all on Scariff, he couldn't help it. "I'll meet you down there after I make my report." Jyn waved him off as she moved away and walked through groups of rebels, her confident, couldn't-care stride clearing a path. He found himself watching her, already missing her presence. They hadn't talked about those moments on the beach, but he wanted to. He wanted to ask her if it meant anything to her. But she was all fire and attitude and blazing green eyes and surprisingly hard to read. It wasn't something he could just  _bring up_.

"You did not have to force her to report to medical, Cassian. It is common for such irrelevant injuries to be overlooked by superior officers. I can cite at least 47 instances in which protocol was disregarded in these cases..." K2-SO was still standing behind him, hovering near the ramp.

"No that's alright, Kay. I know I didn't have to." He grabbed his pack and stepped down the ramp, scanning the somewhat small hangar. Jyn was already gone, which he knew should have expected, and yet found he was slightly disappointed anyway.

"Your behavior, concerning Sergeant Jyn Erso, is continually irrational, Cassian." K2 stomped back into the ship to tend to any damages and perform the basic maintenance. The droid never allowed any of the repair crews near their little U-Wing. But  _he_ was the irrational one. Cassian scoffed slightly.

"Captain." Draven's voice snapped him out of the strange reverie. He hadn't heard the general's approach, but of course, that wasn't really all that surprising. They were all spies, weren't they?

"Sir." He tugged his datapad free of his pack. He'd been working on the report on their trip in so it would be ready, in between fighting with Jyn over whether or not she would report to medical, naturally. "My report on the mission."

"How proactive of you." His commanding officer took the report with same cool professionalism that steeled his face and demeanor.

Cassian chose to ignore the suspicion in the general's tone. "Thank you, sir. Now, if that's all you need, I'm going to check on my team in medical. You'll find a full account of the resistance we met in my report. The planet wasn't imperial occupied, but they weren't friendly either."

Draven turned his attention to the pad in his hand, waving Cassian away as if his presence was exhausting. Cass left to make his way to the medbay, leaving Kay to his fussing over the ship.

None of Rogue One enjoyed spending any time in medical. They'd all required more time than they had to heal after the incursion on Scariff, but it still felt like they'd spent too much time in bacta tanks or on those ridiculously uncomfortable beds.

He made it to the medical wing just in time to hear laughing and voices. The loudest voice was Jyn's. The med droids weren't keeping her, then. That was good, at least.

"Jari! I can't believe you're here!"

"Well I won't be for much longer, Liana, if you keep squeezing me like that." More laughing.

 _Liana_? That was a name Cassian hadn't heard in a while. Not since  _before_. He stepped into the room to see Jyn sitting on the bed of an extensively bandaged Togruta, whose head tails were pulled behind him in a twist. The two were talking animatedly, more so than Cassian had ever seen Jyn. There was something about it that made his chest ache.

A medical droid entered from another room, making it's way to Jyn. "Sergeant Erso, please remove your jacket for evaluation."

"Erso?" The Togruta - Jari, she'd called him - glanced at Jyn, then at the droid and the others in the room. "So the rumors about you were true." A coolness settled over the room. Cassian propped himself against the far wall and watched his sergeant carefully, not sure how she would react to someone, even an old friend, drudging up her past.

Jyn's face hardened as she stood and removed her jacket to reveal the blaster burns across her shoulders. They really weren't bad. "I guess it depends on which rumors you're talking about." The droid was behind her, applying bacta to the burns. Cassian had never put that note in her file. Her lips twitched almost imperceptibly in pain. "If you mean that I was the daughter of an imperial scientist, yes. My father built the weapon that destroyed Jedha, Alderaan, Scariff. But he was also the one who gave us the means to destroy it. Why do you think I'm here?" She flung her arms out. The medical droid made a disgruntled sound at her sudden movement.

Jari's black eyes narrowed in his pigmented face. "If all of that were true, why did you defect from the Partisans? Why didn't you keep fighting with us?"

This was a path they couldn't go down. Jyn had grown, worked on a lot of things since they'd all almost died on that beach, but she hadn't grown  _that_ much. Cassian pushed off from the wall he was leaning on, ready to intervene. He could see she was tense and shaken, almost as if someone had wound an instrument too tight. Her eyes flashed with the defiant rage that often got their team in trouble, and it was bad news for Jari, since he was already in poor shape, lying in the medbay. Jyn could take out a whole squad of 'troopers on her own - an injured recruit in a medical bed would be nothing.

"I think that's enough interrogation, don't you?" Bodhi stepped between them before Cassian ever got the chance. The pilot shot Jari a disarming smile and even Jyn visibly relaxed.

The droid glided away from the tension, unphased or unaware, tapping on a datapad it had picked up from elsewhere in the room. It moved to Cassian, handing him the pad. "Captain Andor, your team is fit for field operations. Sergeant Erso is free to go."

Jyn gave him a look that clearly said  _I told you so_ and he nodded curtly. "Thank you. I don't think we could have kept her here if we tried."

Bodhi snorted and groaned as Jyn punched him in the arm. She turned to Cassian. "The Guardians are in the sparring room? I feel like I could go a few rounds myself."

He raised a brow at her. "Why? Do you have something to prove today?"

She shrugged on her jacket. They were a team, regardless of onlookers. They were used to being a unit in the middle of a crowd, it was just strange to have it be someone from Jyn's past. She tossed a glance at Jari over her shoulder, a look on her face that Cassian wasn't sure he recognized. It made his chest ache again. Maybe he was the one who needed to be in medical.

"I don't run." She said it loud enough for her old friend to hear. She wanted him to know she hadn't left the Partisans, they had left her. He looked over at the Togruta to see his dark eyes focused on Jyn, as if trying to decide whether to accept her words, colorful face impassive. Anyone who had ever known Jyn should know that was fundamental. She didn't run, unless it was towards the challenge. Jari nodded and she gave him a small smile before heading out of the medical wing, Bodhi and Cassian both trailing behind her.

Cassian caught up to her as she sped down the icy hallway toward the sparring room. "Jyn." He rested his hand on her arm. He had been so careful with contact with her since Scariff. But he couldn't  _not_ touch her. "What was that?" She met his stare and held it as Bodhi moved past them with an obvious motion, on his way to the training room. He'd wait for them there, likely rolling his eyes.

"They all think I abandoned the cause,  _this_." She glanced around the hall with meaning. "All of Saw's troops. They all believed I left - defected, like someone who just didn't believe in it anymore. In hope anymore."

 _Hope_. That was what the Rebellion was for them. He nodded. "And telling them the truth is like dishonoring Saw."

She stared at him, not moving or speaking, just grateful he understood. He was painfully aware of how close she was standing, it was too similar to a time when they had been in a turbolift, thinking they were about to die. He couldn't think about that.

He spoke instead. "You care what he thinks, this Jari." She started to protest, but Cassian held up a hand to stop her. "You don't have to explain to me, Jyn. But I was there, on Jedha. I know Saw did the honorable thing by you in the end. If you tell him the whole story, he will see the same, or he's not worthy of the loyalty you're showing." He withdrew his hand and moved away, continuing to the sparring room. He caught the brief flinch on her face before he turned away, but it was gone before he could even think to interpret what it might mean.

She followed quietly to the training area, withdrawn. He hoped he hadn't overstepped. Maybe she had been remembering the same moment from Scariff. The same things they still hadn't talked about all these months later. They went on missions together, joked with their team, defended each other, but they didn't talk about Scariff. They didn't talk about the lift or the beach or being in each other's arms or waking up in the medbay next to each other. He desperately wanted to, but it never seemed appropriate. Instead, they were a part of a unit - Rogue One - and were inseparable.

Sounds of staffs clacking met him in the doorway of the sparring room. As he expected, Chirrut and Baze were honing their skills on each other and Bodhi was waiting patiently, sitting on a bench by the wall. Chirrut was still in his robes, but Baze had traded his usual armor for loose trousers and a noticeable lack of shirt - mostly because he had refused any synthetic dermal implants, so his augmented torso was a stark contrast of his dark skin and bright metal. Not for the first time, Cassian wondered if Chirrut minded that his husband had an advantage now, or if they were more evenly matched.

He made his way safely around the outskirts of the training floor to seat himself next to Bodhi. "Who's winning?"

The pilot snickered. "It's hard to tell through all the flirting. I think Baze went shirtless on purpose."

Cassian watched the two Guardians as they circled each other. They had all grown to accept that, while Chirrut might be  _physically_ blind, he clearly had some extra sense that enabled him to be more aware than the rest of them. The weapons clashed together almost faster than the Captain could follow; only the sharp snap of them drawing together really proved they made contact. Baze swung for Chirrut's middle, but his smaller and more agile husband ducked low, kicking Baze's legs out from under him, landing standing over him with the staff pointed at his chest.

Slow clapping echoed from the bench by the doorway where Jyn was sitting. "You're better off wearing something you're comfortable in next time, Baze. Looks like you lost this one. Bodhi owes me a drink." She flashed a brilliant smile toward the bench where Bodhi and Cassian were seated.

Bodhi groaned, slouching down against the wall. "I really thought Baze might have him this time." He pouted.

Cass patted him on the shoulder. "Really you would think you'd have learned to not bet against Jyn or Chirrut by now. Clothes involved or not." He stood and turned to the rest of his team. "We're all cleared for field ops. Get some rest. I'll let you all know when orders come through."

Chirrut helped his husband off the mat, turning toward Cassian. "Thank you, Captain." He nodded to them and made his way back around the training floor.

Jyn joined him at the entryway, looking like she was up to no good. "Not staying for the next wager? Or were you planning on doing some sparring yourself, for once?"

"Definitely not. The only reason I was here for that round was you four wouldn't stop talking about it the  _whole mission_." He narrowed his eyes. She was fishing and it was sloppy. She was usually better than this. "Do you have something you want to talk about, Jyn?"

She eyed him coolly and shrugged. "I guess there are some things we haven't addressed."

His mouth went dry and stomach dropped. He wasn't ready to tell her. He wasn't prepared to see her face when he told her how often he thought of those moments in the turbolift or on the beach, or even in the medbay. The image of Jyn and Jari laughing and joking sitting on the bed in the medbay flashed through his mind, steeling his nerves. "I suppose you're right. Whenever you want. I know you were planning to talk to your Partisan friend-"

Jyn shot him a glare, silencing him mid-sentence. She strode out of the training room without another word. Cassian followed, hoping that was what she intended. She stalked down the hall to a small briefing room, checking to see if it was in use. No one was there. She motioned impatiently for him to enter.

Cassian crossed to the table, seating himself on it rather than in a chair. She hovered near the doorway, looking like she was regretting her decision to lead him here, hand on her crystal at her throat.

He hated seeing her so anxious, it was so unlike her. "Jyn, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

"We never talk about it." Her emerald eyes seemed to glow with a new determination. "Scariff. We don't talk about it, about what happened."

"I didn't want to cross a line somewhere. It was hard for all of us, but had to be hardest for you. You faced down the monster from your nightmares, saved the Rebellion, and gave us all hope. I owe you the respect of waiting until you're ready to talk about it."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

He sighed. "What do you want to know?" He met her intense stare, barely able to breathe. She wasn't letting him escape this. He could talk himself out of it, maybe get his comm to go off and have an excuse to escape but she was looking at him with those eyes and he knew there was no leaving.

"I want to know what you're so afraid of," she paused, her gaze deliberately impassive, "Captain."

"I'm afraid of losing anyone else. Especially any of you - of our unit." He tore himself away from her level stare, swallowing down some of the nerves. How could he tell her it was  _her_ he was afraid of losing? "Rogue One is the closest thing I've had to family. I don't want to risk anything that would damage what we've built." He felt himself grimace in spite of his best efforts.

Jyn saw it. She had to know what he was saying. "Why? It's been months. Why are we pretending it didn't happen? You send us all to the medbay over the smallest injuries, and yes, we know why, but you won't talk to me about the turbolift or the beach? Kay's right, your behavior is irrational, Cassian." Her voice lowered to a whisper, teetering somewhere between dangerous and comforting. "Chirrut and Baze weren't the only ones who almost died on Scariff. Bodhi isn't the only one with a synthetic limb now."

He looked up to see she had been stepping closer to him. "What's your point, Jyn?" he asked, aware that she was still moving nearer to him.

"My point," she eyed him up and down and Cassian could feel himself flush, "is that we have just as much right to be worrying about you. But you don't see any of us sulking and avoiding anyone on the team."

"I'm not -"

She shot him another glare to stop his protest. "Cassian. You looked like it caused you  _physical pain_ to put your hand on my arm earlier. So don't give me that bantha shit. We've been teammates for a while now, I'd like to think I know you, but even I need you to talk to me."

He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. Of course it had seemed like he hadn't wanted to be anywhere near her. He was deliberately limiting his time around her to try and keep his feelings to himself. All he had to do was say it. "I didn't intend to avoid you, honestly. I thought it best to try and refrain from imposing my feelings on you."

She raised a brow, leaning into a defensive stance. "'Feelings'?"

 _No going back now._ He nodded, clearing his throat. "Yes. My feelings for a soldier under my command. You want to know why I don't talk about those moments on Scariff? That's why. I can't, Jyn. I think about them enough without trying to talk to you about them too." He dared to glance at her. Her green eyes were wide, but with what emotion, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

She _hmph_ ed softly. "Cassian Andor, always the martyr, even when you don't have to be. You seem to enjoy punishing yourself, Captain."

He scoffed. "Very astute, Sergeant. You should take up profiling."

Jyn cocked her head at his sarcasm, standing directly in front of him with her arms crossed in front of her chest. She was the perfect picture of pent up energy, ready to be released at a moment's notice. "Well if you hadn't been so determined to be miserable, you could have tried to clear the air with me and you may have been surprised to find I feel the same way, you idiot."

"I know and I'm sorry -" Cassian's usually quick mind processed what she had said as he was already halfway through his apology. "-you what?"

A light smirk ghosted over her lips. "I said, I feel the same way, you idiot."

She was right. He was most definitely an idiot, but she was standing close enough that he intended to fix that.

**Author's Note:**

> So this one was hard for me and I'm not sure why... I hope you all like it! 
> 
> Also, Jari was the name of an unspecified togruta in the Partisans.. I just picked someone at random and kind of didn't want them to be human so there you go..
> 
> I'm on Tumblr: @brittinnistudio331pro ..send me stuff to write :)


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